I’m not a morning person. I know people who love the morning. They have gotten a full day’s work done and solved all the world’s problems by 10 am. They wake energized and find inspiration in the quiet moments before the sun comes up. Not me. There is nothing quite or peaceful about the morning.For me, it’s filled with anxiety and stress.
“Will I have enough time?”
“Are we going to be late??”
“What am I going to forget today?”
For me, the morning is an opponent. It has always been me against her. My alarm goes off at 6 am and it’s Round 1. I throw my clothes on that I laid out the night before as part of my “training”. It’s a good chance to warm up and learn what advantages and disadvantages I have for this fight. I start the process of waking the children which is Round 2. I can’t force them out of bed or I’ve lost the fight before it’s begun. I have to ease them out. It can be like easing a kitten out of a tree. You don’t want to spook them. You want them to feel safe with you, so, I remind myself, no crazy eyes. They get dressed with the clothes I laid out for them while I make their breakfast. While breakfast is cooking, I put their lunches together which are in the refrigerator from the night before. In case you haven’t picked up on the pattern, everything is done the night before, because the Night is my coach and support. He has trained me how to cross the “Danger Zone”, get in range, and work from a disadvantage.
When the kids sit down for breakfast, that’s when Round 3 begins. Can’t force food down their throats, they have to do it in their time. So I try to be patient. I brush my hair and put my makeup on. It’s better for me to be somewhere else while they eat, as to not spook them. They can’t know my opponent, or again, the fight is lost.
Once breakfast is done, it’s time to get in the car, Round 4. It usually takes two trips to the car. The first trip is just with my things and then the second includes the kids and all the stuff that comes with them. I take deep breaths because I can feel the second hands ticking and I don’t want to get called with too much time against the ropes. I keep my stance as best I can, keep my punches short so I don’t tire out.
If all goes well with the transition to the car, it’s 7:30 and we are on our way. The Final Round is the most stressful because it’s filled with things I can’t control. Three different train tracks that could have a train passing, or sitting, at any given time. They never seem to run on any kind of schedule. School buses, red lights, accidents, construction, all things that can’t be avoided or predicted, no matter what phone app you are using. It’s the final obstacle course before victory and it’s important to be clear and use my instincts. I have to be smart about the morning commute, psychic almost, anticipating the punches as I duck and weave. I pull into the car line at my kid’s school before 7:55 and I’ve won! Victory is mine! But I’m careful to not be too arrogant because I fight again tomorrow. The morning is a formidable opponent and has always been my best advisory.
I was told if I want to work on my writing and be more creative, I need to wake up an extra 30 minutes early to journal. I think this is a great idea, but it's also overwhelming for me to imagine. I desperately want to live a more creative life, but I have to go into the darkness and meet my fear to do this. How bad do I want it? I’m giving time I never had to give in the first place. Let’s hope my opponent doesn’t find out.
